12 Laws for the monogamous husband to be happy in Jesus
I want to share a shabbat verse from the wisdom literature as an epilogue taken from Proverbs Chapter 31. To provide some context, I want you to consider the following 12 things about your wife as your “ezer kenegdo” - a Hebrew phrase used in the Bible to describe the creation of Eve as a suitable partner or helper for Adam.
Now, some men prefer to marry wives the same age as themselves. Some marry younger sisters, others, prefer slightly older women. In truth what matters is not age, beauty or wealth.
When it comes to marriage, what matters is theology.
Where does this come from? “A woman of valor (virtue) who can find? Her worth is far more than rubies” (Proverbs 31:10).
The rest of Proverbs 31 describes the impact of her theology. Her beliefs about God transform the ecclesia and enable her to “walk on water” and “raise the dead”. This theology affects not only her, but also you as her husband, your children, your circle of friends, and society in general.
The wisdom literature proclaims that a husband who finds a wife finds a "good thing" (Prov 18:22). Such a wife serves as an ezer kenegdo, offering support and help to her husband throughout all the days of his life. This means that a wife is not only a partner in life, but also someone who can provide encouragement and assistance in times of need. In addition, a wife can offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on during difficult times, making her an invaluable asset to any husband. Therefore, every husband should cherish his wife and appreciate the many ways in which she enriches his life.
Lianne and I got married almost four decades ago. It was a busy day amidst the rubble of the Lian Yak building, an event that Singapore still hasn't forgotten. The collapse of the former Hotel New World is considered one of the worst disasters in post-war Singapore, as 33 families grieved on that single day.
But my immediate focus beyond the sad events of that day, was what I had “found” (scarecrows). I had to switch off the TV that night.
As a pastor and concerned citizen, I often find myself needing to switch off from the current events of the day, no matter how immersive or tragic they may be. This is so that I can focus on the story God is telling through our marriage, which is the mountain of monogamy standing right in front of us.
In monogamous marriages, many men strive for success and, upon reaching the summit of their journey, find a group of women gathered in a circle studying the Bible and doing theology.
This is the "Singapore girl" - that godly, serious, no-nonsense organisational genius with the metadidomic bent of the Proverbs 31 woman of valour, seeking to maximise and optimise all of life in Messiah.
That's why, for the husband of the bride and for all husbands under the bans of the Singapore Women’s Charter, I am repeating the 12 laws for monogamous husbands:
It has long been believed that God is the ultimate provider and protector. This is especially true when it comes to finding a spouse. Only through faith can one hope to find the right partner, and only through God can one hope to keep that partner safe and secure in their relationship. When we trust in God to guide us, we can be confident that we will be led to a life of love, happiness, and fulfilment. So, while it may seem daunting to put our faith in something as intangible as a higher power, it is ultimately the best way to ensure a long and happy marriage.
She can be both a great asset and a formidable adversary. On one hand, she is always ready to lend a helping hand, providing support and guidance whenever you need it. On the other hand, if she feels that you are not living up to your potential or not putting in the necessary effort, she can become a tough critic and challenge you to do better. In either case, her influence can be a powerful force that motivates you to succeed and reach your goals.
The address of the place where she resides is quite unique and intriguing, known as the "Eye of the storm". This phrase seems to suggest that living with her would be a calming and peaceful experience, free from the chaos and turmoil of everyday life. One can only imagine the sense of serenity that must be present within the residence, with its tranquil surroundings and peaceful atmosphere. It is truly an intriguing and fascinating place that piques one's curiosity and imagination.